Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Hello friends,

In the past couple of weeks, I became really active with all my web mediums. Especially for my Youtube Channel. I've been doing full tutorials, focus tutorials and now cover songs!

Since, I’ve been getting a lot of compliments as far as making my videos a blend of a tutorials and covers at the same time, I figured I’d run with it. I’ve decided to make this a full on blog about my endeavors as a SINGING makeup artist. Which is so weird because I used to think of the two worlds as separate and now, I realized, in my life they go hand in hand.

I will give a more thorough update as far as my channel, blog and facebook page are concerned, but for now, I just wanted to clarify any construction you may see on either pages. 

I’m always all over the place, which you will definitely see all over my blog.

Good viewing and reading to you all. 


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World

Aishwarya Rai

Aishwarya Rai has many A.K.A.'s , aside from being the biggest female Bollywood star to date, she was also a judge at last years Cannes Film Festival. 

Among her titles:
India, her country - Former Ms. World Candidate. Biggest Female Movie Star
United States, my country - Model and Spokeswoman - L'Oreal, Coca-Cola and DeBeers Diamonds, etc
The World - she was the former "Ms. World" 1994

and well, since she's the Angelina Jolie of India, she's very well documented and I can definitely see how she is considered, voted, noted, labeled, blah blah...
 "the most beautiful woman in the world"

I'm not disagreeing by any means, in fact, I just want to know how they came to such a conclusion, cause she was interviewed and didn't even know that she was given that title. So, it's safe to say that she was not a "self-proclaimed" beauty. 

(Unlike Janice Dickenson, who self-proclaims she is the worlds 1st SUPERMODEL because she coined the term. I'm not going to disagree because frankly, I don't think anyone else is alive from before her time. Respectively.)

Not to mention that India is the 2nd largest population in the World. (China being first, of course.) So maybe, her countryfolk just happened to vote a lot? NO matter. She's gorgeous, I heard her eyes are like Medusa... "Look too closely and you turn to stone." 

If you don't like the Angelina analogy", it's only because she is considered a beauty in all aspects of movies, fashion, lifestyle and well, mayhem... it also helps that she married the most handsome man in India, aka India's Brad Pitt.
Although, I beg to differ : I say "ick" 

Abhishek Bachchan 

I'll say it again

"Most Beautiful Woman in the World" = Aishwarya Rai (American girl equivalent - Aisha Warry)

Well, anyway. Shit. That's a big fregin' responsibility if you ask me. I can barely walk out my house without makeup on because a few people, here and there, know I'm a makeup artist. 

Imagine if you had the title of being the most beautiful woman in the world. 
How the eff do you buy groceries? What if you just need your morning coffee? A jog, perhaps?
Sure, she has someone to do that for her... but still. Complication nation. 
Because that someone, whom she has hired to buy her damn coffee, is still expecting her to be "beautiful" all the damn time. Exhaustion. 

To be honest, 
I think this is what Kim Kardashian aspires to look like. 
Why? The woman has green eyes!! Unfair? Yes, much.

I still can't wrap my finger around this woman representing all that is beautiful in the world, much less, pronounce her name. I think it's   : Uh- ISH -war- Yuh   Rai (rhymes with EYE)
(or at least that's what I was told by the woman who threads my eyebrows, thanks Sangeeta! haha)

She is gorgeous. No arguments here. You take that title Ms. Rai. Take it.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Old Hollywood Makeup

"Getting the perfect red lip is like finding the perfect pair of stilettos."

Everyone wants a great red lip trick.
I hope this one works out for you ;)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

JLo? J-No No...

JLo must be J-high off her ass right now if she thinks she is rocking this look. Gross.
First of all.

First of f**kng all,

Ms. Jennifer Lopez, you are the poster woman for BRONZE skin. So how is it you forgot to wear your bronzer on this day? On top of that, you even chose to wear a red lip with no bronzer? really? really?

Second of all,
have you ever heard of a #224 brush from MAC? It's a blending brush, buy a couple. You can afford it.

Third, Third.... Third!!!
that ruby red lip, (aka a blue or cool tone of red lipstick) just doesn't go with your skin tone, especially since you chose to skip on the  bronzer today.

Don't get me wrong, I think any skintone can wear what they want as long as they cater the entire face to that color theme.

But if you're not going to play around the cool tones of this lip, then your warm skin ends up looking like a corpse.
cool reds - almost look pink
warm reds - almost look brown

I would say you were going for the Morticia Adams look, except you're wearing white. So it's safe to say you made a makeup boo boo here.

Go put your signature bronze face back on woman!!!

JLo... J hell no. for this look.

Moral of this FaceMe story:

If you have warm skin like miss JLo, you cannnot wear blue/cool red lipstick with absolutely no bronzer, unless you're goal is to look like Kat Von D, Amy Winehouse or frekin' Minnie Mouse for that matter.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Mama Mila!

Dear Mila,

My name is Carlen, I am but a humble servant to your beauty. Will you marry me so I can paint your face all day long?

Your eyes are a makeup artist's dream.
Your skin, a sight to be seen.
Your lips...

...oh wait, that's right. I like boys.

Nevertheless, perfection to the tee. love x infinity.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Googoo Gaga!!!

This picture just makes me coo coo for coco puffs forreal. I feel like a little baby just wanting to jump out of my skin and walk and jump and talk about this photo! Goo goo Ga-gamazing! 

How is it that our lovely "Mother Monster" can look this great? I swear she looks like a model out of the Guess ads circa 1990's here.  Scratch that, she looks like Madonna ;) 

Next look on the YouTube page, for serious. 

Oh, Selena, Selena, Selenaaas!

Who the figgetty F**K did her makeup here? 

I am a huge fan of miss Selena Gomez. 
And by fan, I mean I think she's super cute because I've only seen her on well... nothing. 
(I think she's a wizard??? ) 

Either way, I'm not even mad about her with the Biebs. 
She's pretty, young and has a name I like to say over and over... Selenaaaaasss. Selenaaasssss.

Anyway, this is one beautiful girl whose face is really cute.
Almost a no fail canvas, if you ask me.
So taking her eyebrows and giving her a chola sharpie brow is just ridiculous.

And to be fair, even if the makeup artist wants to blame/credit the 20's and 30's for their barely there brow era, this is just a disaster. This is a girl in her teens, not f**kin Marlene Dietrich, for the love.

This smokey eye look is just too much for her deep set eyes, and on top of that, it has a horrible shape.
It has almost ruined the shape of her eyes, making her eyes look even more close together than they already are! not flattering at all!

Now, she just looks like she got into her mothers makeup, put too much black eyeshadow on, accidently plucked the life out of her brows, decided that pink blush goes well with RED lipstick, and on top of that... glossed her lips with her favorite flavor of sparkly shiny lip smackers chapstick circa 1994!


Let's face it, we all did some form of this in the 8th grade. I know I sure did. Except I was never famous and I was a 10 year old makeup artist, not America's tweenheart who can afford makeup artists left and right. The girl should just hire me, shiieet.

Note to Selena Gomez: whoever did this to you, should so be fired. tis all.

Moral of this FaceMe story:

"a good makeup artist should always know how to accent the proper features"
even when doing an ode to an era.